Some sort of ending.

With each day I fall apart in tears, I feel closer to the end. The end of what? Who knows. There just lurks this haunting feeling that my life, as I now know it, will be ending soon. It just has been too similar for too long, and the stresses (generally associated with the things they are associated with) have lingered too long with little probability of ending. In other words, the stresses have become inherent in the way I interact with the world. And, again, I have this, admittedly illogical, intuition that everything will change as a result--either in suicide or in a seismic change in my life. I cannot say which, as the feeling is too unconscious in nature to constitute as conscience an end as suicide. Truthfully, it doesn't really matter. After all, if you kill yourself, you will be too dead to regret it.

Me or...It (REVISED)

Me or…“It”?

Is it my love,

That you make a goal of?

When you go and adulate the lights,

Is it so that I see you at greater heights?

And, at these heights, you look so nice,

Really, just dinner would have sufficed.

I pondered all day,

And I pondered all night,

Twisting and turning,

Writhing and yearning.

In fact,

I am now sure;

It is right.

With one more look in your eyes,

Just to be completely sure that this is no decision-unwise,

I say “yes” to your requests to marry me,

But, I concede a bit apprehensively,

When you lecherously touch my knee,

At every opportunity,

I wonder what it is that you really want of me.

This poem deals with a woman contemplating whether to marry her boyfriend, who has done outrageous things to get attention and seem impressive (“When you go and adulate the lights”). However, even after replying affirmatively to her boyfriend, she remains unsure as to whether she made the right decision, wondering if he is more interested in sex—the “It” mentioned in the title—or her. (“I wonder what it is that you really want of me.”)

My Love

I love
[kisses]
Every part
[kisses]
of your glorious body
[kisses]
Ravid cuteness!
[kisses]
blood and cum
[kisses]
scream and shout!
[kisses]
fissures in your skin
[kisses]
written with a subtle red
[kisses]
cries!
[kisses]
and then tears
[kisses]
over my knee
[kisses]
squirm, writhe
[kisses]
going to work on your bottom
[kisses]
so jocular, innocent, recalcitrant
[kisses]
[anything to escape !PAIN!
[kisses]
simple wants and needs
[kisses]
you didn't really mean wrong
[kisses]
but all the better
[kisses]
finally, with given all that you could give
[kisses]
you give
[kisses]
you get up
[kisses]
sniffling
[kisses]
!PAIN! lingering, you rub frantically
[kisses]
I stop you
[kisses]
a sorrowful look--"please?"
[kisses]
a light smack ON the face
[kisses]
hands fall back back to your sides
[kisses]
you stand in the corner,
with just one simple wish
[kisses]
another tear or two
[kisses]
that I peck away.

Can I snuggle with you? You are too cute.

Kisses,
G.L.A.Y.